I was dead 5 years ago.

Earlier in 2021, I remember that I start have the ambition to be successful.

Everything you taught me in the previous year, finalized in early 2021. I no longer want to be the regular man.

I want to make lots of money.

To accomplish mission we wanted, to build charity, to do more good stuff to more and more people, to provide my mom driver, comfortable commuting, proper hospital, big house for her to invest her family, to get myself a pet-friendly apartment with a music studio, to adopt children, even to live somewhere else beside this country. 

I wanna have a new life. I need to build a new life.

But, when I just finished showering earlier this evening, I realized, apparently, I was dead.

I realized that I want to be successful to build a new life.

Yes.

But I just realized that I want to build a new one bcs the old me was dead!

And I think this is not some emo kid making journal. But after my regular contemplation, it’s bcs my old me was dead that now I want to build a new me.

Look..

It’s not just my vision is different now.

It’s me being entirely different.

Everything that empowers me today, is no longer have to do with what happened to to me before 2020.

It’s everything that happened during 2020 that drives me today.

I even no longer spoke to my family but my mother.

Crazy right?

Call me crazy, until you stand where I stand.

For better or worse, I thank you for being the only human being that could really change my mind.

And brought peace even for only a year.